Joy Irrespective

(First posted October 9th, 2011)

About fourteen years ago I was sitting in Bert Hellinger’s audience in San Francisco. At that time he had been coming to the States for a few months introducing his family constellations. These are methods for clearing ancestral and systemic impe

diments in a life. As a consequence of this work, one more easily accesses personal freedom, resourcefulness and love. Mr. Hellinger ended our gathering with this blessing: “May you know joy irrespective of circumstance.”

Incredulously and involuntarily I said to myself: “How the Hell! do you do that?!” Although the wonderful woman who works as my webmaster – whose name and link appear at the bottom of this blog – might well, during moments of my impatience, deny the claim I am about to make: I have come a long way toward experiencing joy irrespective. If not always in real time – in only moments I access joy, or at least equanimity. A testament to my claim is my response to the yellow smiling face you will see later in this post. The thing turned up instead of a number eight and a closed parenthesis mark. And so it goes. I don’t know how it got there and I have yet to sort how to change it.

Notwithstanding my skill and history of passionately saying no to life – mine, mostly – and, too, saying no to the Mystery – a practice we humans have a penchant for – I can well say that I am educable, for I have changed. Increasingly I let go of resistance…increasingly I am saying yes to my life and the Mystery. So can you.

My point: If you haven’t noticed, there is a fair amount of turbulence in all domains of human endeavor today. Albeit politically incorrect, undermining to Goldman Sachs and socio-religiously blasphemous to point this out, one can know joy irrespective of circumstance. One can move into states of equanimity. One can drop and completely Let Go Of the subtext of your life. For example, narratives such as: My parents were a horror! My early years set an impotent and ill-fated course for my life. I do not have XYZ… I am not this…I don’t have…blah, blah, blah! Whatever!

I propose the following: 
1) Suspend your acculturation and upbringing – too, your education, training and experience. Push all of that to one side of you – of your body. Use your hand, gesturing in front of you as you do this. 
2) Now, take a moment to become aware of your breathing. What is the location of your breathing? Where in your body – chest, abdomen, belly? What is the rate – or how fast or slowly are you breathing? Whatever it is, no big deal. Simply become aware of rate and location.
3) Now, change the rate and location of your breathing while you simultaneously move your body. Move it slowly, changing posture and body position. 
4) Now, using your hand, gesture to erase any and all images on the white board in your mind’s eye. Let no images stay. All are to go. Lower the volume of our self talk to the point that you no longer hear it. If you must have sound, listen to agreeable music or sounds of nature. Let your body loosen by feeling yourself under a shower of light and refined energy.
5) Now, take a moment and reflect, get in touch with, or think of an event – or several distinct events when you experienced or witnessed acts of human decency. Acts of compassion. Brilliance. Creativity. Acts of bravery. Acts reflecting dignity – a woman being publicly honored for example. The smiling of an infant. The innocence of a child. The promise of a young person. Couples who honestly love and respect the other. Allow yourself to experience one of these things. (If you need help, read my poetry on this blog. The poems contain a lot of heart.)
6) Now, Using your other arm, gesturing in front of your abdomen – bring these sentiments, sensations, words, sounds and images in front of your body. About abdomen height or slightly higher. Your arm will know where to go. Place them about 12 inches (30 cm) out from your body. 
7) Now, repeat steps five and six. While keeping a minimum of one positive event or experience in front of you. Gather many others around it. Keep them centered.
 Now, think of something you love that you will be doing in the future. Place it, using your hand, in the center too. Arranging these icons front and center so they are visible or palpable will be a boon to your ongoing experience.
9) Now, make this a daily practice until you need only do it periodically.

This practice will move you more easily toward states of equanimity, a stepping stone to joy.

Regarding the sociopolitical and economic circumstances that many of us seem to be at effect of: The world can own the objective circumstance of your life – up to a point. It need not however own your subjective experience. It need not limit or constrain your creative expression. And, it can never impede your Being. No matter how tightly bound or contained is your circumstance, you can stop all self-deceptions. You can clear all pre-and subtext from your life stories. (A hint, if you are particularly attached to a bit of your story, you are deceiving yourself.)

You can consent to what is and in doing so your heart can honestly sing the buoyancy of being – of being sentient. I leave you with these questions to ask of your own self:
1) How might I do this?
2) What am I afraid of letting go of?
3) What is life asking me to let go of?
4) What is life asking me to move toward?

You can ask these questions with your mind. The answers however must come from beyond your mind and personality. I wonder, how do you do that?

The above exercise is a blend of NLP State Change Technology and a piece from Paul and Patty Richards’ Sente Energetics work.

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Scarecrow

(First posted on October 22, 2012)
Although, or rather, because of being surrounded by the strong spirits of the gorgeous mountains of France’s Grand Massif region, I have been experiencing and releasing an unprecedented amount of grief in the last ten days. I am grateful for this undoing, its moments of seeming brutality notwithstanding.

The dictionary on my phone defines arrogance, a noun, as an overbearing pride evinced by a superior manner toward inferiors. Its synonyms are: haughtiness, hauteur, highhandedness, lordiness. Its adjective ‘arrogant’ is defined as having or showing feelings of unwarranted importance out of overbearing pride. Synonyms: chesty, self-important.

Some time ago I mused about arrogance being a discontent with circumstances differing from what I wanted. My ego dismissed this outright! Recently I grew impatient with the pace in which my mentor was assisting me and told him so. He gently suggested that arrogance may be one’s impatience with the circumstances and timing of the Mystery in our lives. My ego was humbled.

Immediately I saw the relevance and rightness of this perspective: I relived moments when the only workable thing to do was respond to what is by consenting to it; by acknowledging my current reality; by saying yes, this thing is occurring here and now whether I like it or not: These circumstances are in my life in this moment. I instead often did the non-workable thing and resisted the moment.

I have lived so arrogantly thinking the world should be as I desired it. I have begun the discipline of letting go of my impatience. Given that the majority of my resistance is outside my awareness, I endeavor to remember to consciously consent to what is and to live in a state that enables my remembering. What helps is slowing down the pace of my daily routines, staying centered and grounded in my body, inhabiting it more completely, more often. This too requires remembering as taking refuge in my brain and places beyond, have been all to well practiced.

Letting go of arrogance is a crucial step in rousing the genuine nature of my own nature – this is the Being and expression that has been waiting patiently in the background of my life while the one masquerading as myself impatiently lives out the histrionics of my culture. A foreground background shift is well underway in me. This change is exacting a fierce levy of grief: Facing this incongruity of having lived a cultural, familial and ego’s intent bent on distancing myself from my genuine nature is harrowing.

Freedom from grief involves an inescapable process that is at odds with Western culture’s “Be a Man Training” – the course of study in which I excelled. Its first tenet: Crying is prohibited. Nonetheless as I betray my training and give myself over to a good cry, the griefs of my ancestors, family, and my own, return to the beauty of the earth, to life. As consequence my genuine nature comes more into fore. I have had milliseconds of knowing the unbearable lightness of being. What a boon!

As I negotiate this labyrinth I wonder whether there might be an echo of my process in others: I am curious about such things.

Although, or rather, because of being surrounded by the strong spirits of the gorgeous mountains of France’s Grand Massif region, I have been experiencing and releasing an unprecedented amount of grief in the last ten days. I am grateful for this undoing, its moments of seeming brutality notwithstanding.

The dictionary on my phone defines arrogance, a noun, as an overbearing pride evinced by a superior manner toward inferiors. Its synonyms are: haughtiness, hauteur, highhandedness, lordiness. Its adjective ‘arrogant’ is defined as having or showing feelings of unwarranted importance out of overbearing pride. Synonyms: chesty, self-important.

Some time ago I mused about arrogance being a discontent with circumstances differing from what I wanted. My ego dismissed this outright! Recently I grew impatient with the pace in which my mentor was assisting me and told him so. He gently suggested that arrogance may be one’s impatience with the circumstances and timing of the Mystery in our lives. My ego was humbled.

Immediately I saw the relevance and rightness of this perspective: I relived moments when the only workable thing to do was respond to what is by consenting to it; by acknowledging my current reality; by saying yes, this thing is occurring here and now whether I like it or not: These circumstances are in my life in this moment. I instead often did the non-workable thing and resisted the moment.

I have lived so arrogantly thinking the world should be as I desired it. I have begun the discipline of letting go of my impatience. Given that the majority of my resistance is outside my awareness, I endeavor to remember to consciously consent to what is and to live in a state that enables my remembering. What helps is slowing down the pace of my daily routines, staying centered and grounded in my body, inhabiting it more completely, more often. This too requires remembering as taking refuge in my brain and places beyond, have been all to well practiced.

Letting go of arrogance is a crucial step in rousing the genuine nature of my own nature – this is the Being and expression that has been waiting patiently in the background of my life while the one masquerading as myself impatiently lives out the histrionics of my culture. A foreground background shift is well underway in me. This change is exacting a fierce levy of grief: Facing this incongruity of having lived a cultural, familial and ego’s intent bent on distancing myself from my genuine nature is harrowing.

Freedom from grief involves an inescapable process that is at odds with Western culture’s “Be a Man Training” – the course of study in which I excelled. Its first tenet: Crying is prohibited. Nonetheless as I betray my training and give myself over to a good cry, the griefs of my ancestors, family, and my own, return to the beauty of the earth, to life. As consequence my genuine nature comes more into fore. I have had milliseconds of knowing the unbearable lightness of being. What a boon!

As I negotiate this labyrinth I wonder whether there might be an echo of my process in others: I am curious about such things.

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