Workshops December 7 & 8, 2019 in Ashland, Oregon

To Love Completely, Irrespective.

“May you know joy irrespective of circumstance.”
Bert Hellinger

Dear Friends,

Among a myriad other things, we humans get to experience Life Beckoning–Life’s continual invitation to change. To become. To be more than our upbringing and culture suggest. My work has always been in service to these ends…

Though I promise that my December workshop will be exceptional and Life Changing, it is no exception. It will be a mix of permissions and entitlements furthering the changes you desire. Furthering your abilities to manage well in today’s world.

My December workshop is my last one in the States. I am leaving Southern Oregon. Life is Beckoning me to other seas and ports of call.
Please join the intimate beauty of the long term circle I’ve been privileged to work with on December 7 & 8 in Ashland. It will be Life Changing and heartening. I promise.

“To Love Completely, Irrespective” is not a hollow abstraction nor the dribble of a hoped for new age pursuit. Rather it is an opening proffered by the Mystery that is utterly and irrepressibly relevant in its embodied and applied forms. In our daily actions.

  • What does this mean?
  • How might this look?
  • Is it possible?
  • If so, how can this be accomplished?

Note: We do not have a life. Rather, we are Life.
Oh, Life is Love.

Come join the fun of this heartening and awareness expanding workshop. You will be delighted to have done so. I Promise.

“Bring ALL your challenges,

bring ANYTHING you have NOT been able to shift and heal all your life,

bring the BIGGEST most important questions about your life,

bring that which no one else managed to help you with and Stephen will do that with grace and ease.”

– Adele Adonai

WHEN: December 7-8th
WHERE: The Siskiyou School – 631 Clay Street Ashland.
TIMES: 9:30am – 4:30pm


Click here to register for the two (2) days $295

Click here to register for one (1) day $195

For more information call (541) 531-5756 or email

View the full event flyer here:

Workshops – September 21-22, 2019 in Ashland, Oregon

Stephen Victor will lead two days of workshops on September 21-22, 2019 in the Ashland, OR area.

REGISTER NOW – Call: (541) 531-5756 or email: or click here to contact us

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The Much that Calls for More

                                                                                                                           The Red Boats by Claude Monet


“The much that calls for more.” — Margaret Fuller 1810-1850

There are moments when The Mystery, through circumstance, opens the ledgers of our life revealing its accounts—the credits and debits of experience and expression—our daily commerce. At these junctures we are best served to sit well in our body—relaxed, body-centered, connected to Earth’s center and attend to here and now via our direct experience.

In this we are to allow non-intellect- and non-imaginative-based awareness to inform our understandings. In this we begin the accounting The Mystery is asking of us:
• Is my commerce buoyed on the agency of my resounding “Yes!” to Life?
• Or—is my “No.” leaving me subsisting in the wake of another? of circumstance?
• Is my commerce predicated on Awareness? Right Attention? Clear Intent? Mutuality?
• Or—does it ensue from my solitary impoverished self-interest? albeit unawares?
• Am I in love with Life?
• Or—do I favor the psychological over direct real-time sensory experience?
• Do I allow others into my inner circle?
• Or—do I hunker isolated behind rigid ramparts of my own making?
• Is my commerce suffused with me being gracious–with myself and others?
• Or—do I impose anguish or vitriol—though unawares—on those in my sphere?
• Am I giving myself love-based treasure which provides charge to my daily life?
• Or—do I rely on the currency of my cherished resistances to give charge–which of course I remain oblivious to the taxes doing so levies on me? on those near me?
• Am I equal to circumstance?
• Am I equal to the moment?

In this accounting we remember we are much.

In this accounting we can detect calls for more.


The Winds of Fate by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

But to every mind there openeth,
a way, and way, and away,
a high soul climbs the highway,
and the low soul gropes the low,
and in between on the misty flats,
the rest drift to and fro.

But to every [woman] man there openeth,
a high way and a low,
and every mind, decideth,
the way [her’s] his shall go.

One ship sails East,
and another West,
by the self-same winds that blow,
’tis the set of the sails
and not the gales,
that tells the way we go.

Like the winds of the sea
are the waves of time,
as we journey along through life,

’Tis the set of the soul,
that determines the goal,
and not the calm or the strife.

Workshop Series – March 8 – 15

WHERE: Shanghai, China

REGISTER NOW – Call: (541) 531-5756 or email:

Workshop Series – February 23 – March 3

WHERE: Taipei, Taiwan

REGISTER NOW – Call: (541) 531-5756 or email:

Choosing and Claiming Self: Key to Being Equal to Circumstances – April 6-7th 2019

WHEN: April 6-7th 2019
WHERE: The Old Siskiyou Barn
TIMES: 9:30am – 4:30pm
COST: Two days $295 One day $195
REGISTER NOW – Call: (541) 531-5756 or email:

Learn more and Register Here

Leveraging Decency

I grew up in America’s mid-west: Mom from Brooklyn. Dad, rural Iowa. Dad never distanced himself from depression era losses. We all enjoyed THAT world. Mom struggled to imbue a fundamentalist Christian bent. WHEW! If that’s not a small box to add to impoverished thought… myopia and degrees of difficulty notwithstanding, the reconciling of a Self and Life can be achieved.

Sidebar: The American Mythologist Joseph Campbell said something to the effect that there is Light in every religion though their structure prevents most from realizing it. Though I know those who found it—none in my family—nor I. Now add this bit: The great writer, musician, painter and teacher Martin Prechtel reports that “Religion cannot be sold to happy people.”

As testimonial, my family and community ignorantly followed our marching orders furthering our unhappiness: We pursued ethics of hard work, self-sacrifice and restrictive/diminishing Christianity. Unwittingly we maintained the lie that girls and women deserve second-class status. Fear and unhappiness are fertile ground for religious currents—chilly though they were. You’d wonder what could grow THERE?

What grew in addition to our unhappiness—of which echos remain—pressure from the boot of patriarchy securely placed on the throats of girls and women. That’s what grew! To which every girl and woman can attest. Some men too, but too few.

Get this: The majority of us are unaware that the source of our daily exhaustion lies with our keeping those weighty boots in place. A place they don’t belong. Few if any have sussed this root cause out. Boots belong on the ground. This misplacement lies at the center of humanity’s denial of girls, women and the feminine. This also perpetuates the imprisoning of boys and men… gravely, this confinement is oblivious to nearly all.

Setting aside the pandemic nature of this obscenity, it is curious that my otherwise bright, intelligent, quick, clever and good thinking parents—as well as one can think within confines of fear and conviction—didn’t see though this. Hmm? Just goes to show that the intellect pales when considered in the context the Mystery’s Universal Intelligence—Wisdom and Awareness—which is of course, the province of the feminine—whether accessed by women or men. Stay the course, There is a point…

So, what helped me sort myself out? you wonder: The short answer is women. I’m serious. The disenfranchised themselves—being their genuine selves doing what they were impelled to do changed me enough to reset my heading.

It all started really with my 3rd grade teacher. She had me stand in front of her desk after class while she told me off for beating up my older brother while in the queue for the busses. Looking at her across her desk I realized that she was pretty cool. She was ragging on me for something I had done rather than for who I was. This was a first!

The next bit was my 5th grade teacher: She touched my shoulder once while queuing the class for lunch and I sensed her respect for children in general, and in this moment, me. Hmm? I already liked her yet this was a lot to take in. She changed me.

Nattering on a little longer, there were also three particular women on my paper route. When I collected for their paper I interrupted them preparing a meal or eating it. Irrespective, each was consistently gracious, kind and fully present. They were not polite. Instead they were real and interacted genuinely. Patiently. One of them worked at the bank where I took my loot. She was nice there too.

While my first wife was generally more Yang than Yin, she was equal to circumstance seemingly always: academically; and in her fluency with several languages; in her musicianship and as a school teacher, headmistress and university instructor. There simply were no longer grounds for me to stay the course of the less-than party line.

Oops. This actually began when I was nine when my older brothers and I got a sister. I was ecstatic when she arrived. She and I were and remain closely connected. Never understood this until the last few years when I realized that I was head-over-heels in love with the Feminine. No, I don’t know all of what this means. Nonetheless, it is the case.

What I’m leading to is bigger than the individual women mentioned. Bigger than all of us. It’s about letting go. It is about lifting the boot from female throats. It’s about ending the folly of women being less than. It is this: Our releasing girls and women from the place they’ve been relegated becomes the fulcrum providing the precise leverage to free ourselves individually, and what we regard as the world-out-there, from the humanity’s most insidious and pernicious juggernaut—which is imperiling us all. That’s a mouthful.

Intellectually indefensible? Yes!

Fact! nonetheless.

I do not offer this at the expense of men but rather advisory: Without each of us, women and men, lifting the boot of patriarchy, men cannot remove it from themselves… nor free humanity from its encumbrance…the one impeding decency.

P.S. Look to the bodies of work of these authors:
Aimie K. Runyan for lauding unsung heroines
Sara Pascoe for educating us on decency and gender

This piece is for my sister…

Oregon December 2018

1-2 December 2018

Fields of Grace Constellation workshop in ​Ashland, OR

Learn more and sign up here


Choosing: Making Decisions—and Un-Choosing

“Whatever you do in life will be insignificant but it’s very important that you do it.” —Mahatma Gandhi

There can be madness in our lives if we allow it. Now—today—locally and globally—there are myriad circumstances that don’t jibe well with our lives. Or so we are wont to assert, but this is for another time.

Nonetheless, we possess the capacity to become Aware and consequently choose to avoid, or un-choose madness should we find ourselves in its precincts. We no longer need be the children of Hamlin lured by the omnipresent Pied Piper.

I used to train personal growth workshops. One block of instruction was on resistance. It begin: “What you resist, you create, exaggerate or become.”

I had numerous experiential examples justifying the claim—and that our circumstance improves in our letting go of resistance. What I didn’t know at the time was the phenomenology of Attention nor its incomprehensibly impactful role in our lives.

I did not know that consciously—with Awareness—managing the placement of our Attention is one of the differences that profoundly makes The difference in the quality of our lives—in our direct sensory and psychological experience—in expressing ourselves creatively and not.

The Pied Piper of today is of course social media and the news and the television and the internet and the entertainment industry and advertising and our politicos in service to their gods—and all our myriad personal and cultural crisis and disasters—small and large—whatever their cause.

The Pied Piper of today also consists of the energetic vestiges of our Karma/karma, and the Fates; and in our ancestral, familial and personal experiences—those that hadn’t gone so well. Our past and current wounds are present with us most generally in our subtle sensations of feeling heavy or unnecessarily pressured, or our fatigue or our feeling a bit unwell with seemingly no easily traceable cause—the sensations that we’ve become inured to—habituated to—lollygagging at the threshold of our awareness.

Everything that captures and holds our Attention without our Aware, well-reasoned conscious consent—or our well-honed Awareness of the non-ordinary realities, or our long tested intuitive knowing—is an invitation to an entrapping madness. Want to know more? Curious what directing our Attention has to do with choosing and un-choosing?

What do the following questions evoke?

1) Ever wonder whether you’re making the best decision? The “right” one?
2) Ever uncertain what to do now? Or next?
3) Ever allow your emotions to influence your decision taking?
4) Ever put decisions off?
5) Ever aware of of options yet unable to choose, decide and execute one?
6) Ever want or need to know the “how-to” models of choosing, un-choosing and
7) Ever wish you had a Whisperer or psychic to access what lies beyond your current
understanding and knowledge?
8) Ever want genuine insight? Authentic real-time Wisdom?
9) How have you unwitting chosen madness? (If you have.)
10) How did you continue doing it?
11) How do you un-choose madness?
12) How do you choose a resourceful equanimity instead?
13) How do you choose to more frequently engender a relaxed-in-your-body-for-no-
reason presence? and a fitting energetic/mental/emotional state?
14) How do you genuinely be yourself?
15) How do you discipline yourself to do the things you want and need to do?
16) How do you choose to love completely? And, what does this mean?

More in upcoming posts.

The Choices We Make MATTER – Live Event – Oregon September 22 – 23rd, 2018

Stephen Victor - Constellation Therapy

Stephen Victor

September 22 – 23rd, 2018

Ashland, Oregon

“There are some kisses we want.” – Rumi

The consequences of governmental madness repeatedly reaches new zeniths.

The time has come to:

  • Stop unwittingly choosing what you do not want
  • Unchoose
  • Unselfishly choose again and again what you want and need.

Do you know?

That you unwittingly choose higher degrees of difficulty than necessary?

Our choice processes are utterly important – now – more than ever

It is becoming clearer that the dominant culture is no longer in relationship with us.

Fields of Grace Constellation workshop in ​Ashland, OR

Our mandate is clear:

We need to know:

  • How to consciously place our Attention
  • To consistently—with Awareness– direct our Attention
  • To be centered and grounded in our body—here now
  • To think and act with Compassionate-Intelligent-Awareness graciously
  • To lead and manage our lives skillfully with heart, Grace and Wisdom
  • To chose wisely

Come NOW to this workshop and redirect on the course of your Life.

WHERE: The Old Siskiyou Barn

TIMES: 9:30am – 4:30pm

COST: Two days $295 One day $195

For information call (541) 531-5756 or write to

Bring ALL your challenges, bring ANYTHING you have NOT been

able to shift and heal all your life, bring the BIGGEST most important

questions about your life, bring that which no one else managed to help

you with and Stephen will do that with grace and ease.” – Adele Adonai

Download a .pdf for this event